Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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