Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize