I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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