If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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