Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
