I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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