If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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