i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
