It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
