could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
