I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
