scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
