I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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