We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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