Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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