I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
