My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
