We should be called the Road Head Warriors
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Sober January is a disaster.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I will pee on everything he values.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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