idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
