My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
