dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Congratulations! We have a period
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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