i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
