I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
