did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
