my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
