How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
