help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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