I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
