1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
