Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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