i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
