Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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