Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
