I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
