I want to make a zoo with you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
