there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
