My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You ruined the universe
Randomize