I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
