things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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