dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
