redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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