Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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