Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
