He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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