How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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