im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
