dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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