Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You made out with two different species that night
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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