No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
