I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
